The Many Love Lives of Samantha Carter
by iavine
Summary: Missing Scene from "Ripple Effect". Cracky. Do not read if you can't cope with Sam not being part of a One True Pair or with the idea of her with someone (anyone) in particular.


**The Many Love Lives of Samantha Carter**

 _Missing Scene from "Ripple Effect"._  
 _Cracky. Do not read if you can't cope with Sam not being part of_ a One _True Pair.  
_

* * *

Sam, the 'original' one of this reality looked around the room. For some unknown reason, there were only Sams in the room and with the solution to sending everyone 'home' still being translated from theoretical to practical, they wouldn't be here much longer. Standing up, she waved her hands to get everyone's attention. The sea of blond (and one bottle-brunette) heads turned and she was the focus of… herself. "So… I know in the interviews when this started, we touched on the differences between all our realities and I heard a few snippets that suggested – well, I'm thinking I could do with some advice since _my_ love life is _non-existent_."

They all smiled, some with sympathy, some with understanding, some wistful, some rueful, some sad and some amused.

"You're not with Jack?" A civilian Sam asked in honest bemusement.

" _Jack!_ " "The colonel?" "General Jack O'Neill?" cried others. "No way," announced the bottle-brunette version. "I got over my daddy-issues _years_ ago!" Several nodded agreement, several recoiled in horror and several immediately started nattering about how Jack was her perfect match.

Another rolled her eyes ostentatiously. "Daniel is my sweetheart; he's so adorable. I can't believe all you other mes don't agree!"

"Oh ick!" cried one by the wall. "He's the brother I wished Mark could have been!" Half the room howled down the brother-protest and the rest looked a little wide-eyed.

"You," announced one _very_ overtly military Sam. "Have it totally mixed up. Teal'c is a _much_ better choice. He's got way more experience than the Colonel _or_ Daniel."

No one really knew what to say to that, but the babble in the room died down and thoughtful expressions appeared on more than one Sam's face.

One Sam sighed and tapped her hand where the white line in the tan denoted a missing wedding ring. "This was my first offworld mission after my honeymoon in Hawaii - I'm Mrs Shanahan."

This time the protests were even louder and a few started throwing around words like _stalker_ and _lunatic fringe._ Then one particularly mopey looking Sam put up her hand and confessed in a voice barely loud enough for most of them to hear that she'd never really gotten over Narim. Her neighboring Sams looked aghast and pounced on her with hugs.

"Am I," yet another Sam began hesitantly. "Am I the only one who married Jonas?" When the room was dead silent, she sighed. "We have a daughter; he _adores_ her. He finally grew up and honestly, he's turned out to be a good dad." She paused before adding dolefully, "But he's still _god damn awful_ in bed."

Several Sams descended on her for a hug too.

Another put up her hand and said "I'm… umm… I'm with Janet. Frasier."

Sam-the-original had never thought of a woman that way and judging by the rounded eyes on about a third of the room, neither had some of the others. Then again, considering the little smirk on a few more, some of the others _had_.

"I have a… well… _a thing_ with Vala," came a thoughtful confession from another. "It's off again this week though."

"Long distance with Rodney..."

"You don't want to kill him every other minute?"

Rodney's Sam blushed bright red. "No! He knows exactly what to do with his fingers!"

Across the room, yet another spoke up. "I've started dating Malcolm Barrett."

"Really? I've thought about it…"

"Go for it, Sam. His kisses are _divine_."

"Can't be as good as Cameron." said another with a dreamy smile. "I mean, you all _did_ sleep with Cam back when you'd first graduated, right?"

Yet another subset was formed with a different lot of Sams either nodding or shaking their heads. It was fascinating the way the varied possibilities were interweaving.

"You know…" started another long-haired Sam. "I'm wondering why you're restricting yourself. I mean, after the mission on P2X-921 when Jack, Daniel, Teal'c and I all got married and the wedding night wine shredded our inhibitions…" Most of the room was staring at her by now. "You know… four people in one bed is a _lot_ of fun. Honest."

One Sam leaned over and asked about how the addition of a fourth – since she was already sharing Daniel and Jack – changed things.

That was when, right at the back, the quietest Sam in the room stood up. She smoothed her hands over her hips and smiled brilliantly at them all. "In my case, I and Jolinar -" All the Sam's caught their breath - "- have had years happily mated to Cameron and Lantash." In the absolute silence that followed, Jolinar-Sam sauntered from the room with knowing smile.

A minute later, one wistful looking Sam spoke up mournfully. "Oh, _Lantash_."

Then the bottle-brunette Sam thoughtfully pointed out that there _was_ a Lantash-Martouf from one of the other teams… and he was _alone..._ right... _now_.


End file.
